Final weight

My starting weight for this challenge was 427.2 lbs. My final weight is 408.4 lbs. .6 lbs down from last week. Total weight loss 18.8 lbs. Not bad at all.

Check in

Sorry I haven't checked in for two weeks. I've been weighing myself just not posting. I just weighed in at 409 which is less than accurate because I ate and drank stuff before weighing. Usually I don't. It's the same as I weighed last week. But down some from two weeks ago. I haven't been trying. Been eating a lot of fast food. I picked up some things at the grocery store yesterday and I'm going to try no fast food this week. Also I've quit smoking again. I'm using the gum and a support system. I'm on day 3. It's going to be hard but if I keep my eyes on God I can do it.

Checking in.

My weight this week was 414 for a loss of 5lbs. Woo hoo. Still not really doing much except not Bingeing but that's ok. Eating moderately is a big step for me. Im not going to make the 5 percent loss for the work contest. It's funny. I weigh in on the same scale for both this and that. For this challenge I weigh on Monday and for that on Wednesday. My weigh ins are drastically different between the two days. I usually weigh a lot less on wednesday than I do on Monday. It's weird. I'm weighing at the same time of day too. Oh well it's a mystery.

Alright ya'll here I am

First of all. Sorry I avoided you last week. I was in my negative place. I have good news and bad news on two counts.
First good: I lost 3.4 lbs
Bad: I don't really deserve it. I haven't been working hard I've just been eating more moderately. I'm eating crap half the time but in a moderate way

Second good: I have a life. I reconnected with some old friends this weekend and I don't have to be lonely anymore.
Bad: I have a crush on one of them and I'm afraid of being crushed by my crush. Not that I ever intend to tell him if he doesn't make a move first but still. I'm full of angst about whether he could ever like me at this size. I'm also very giddy. I'm afraid I'm going to crash hard. Anyway that is what's going on with me.

Check in.

I weigh 422.4 today. That is down 1.2 lbs from two weeks ago. That isn't good. I know it's because I've been eating crap for the last 3 days since I came home. I've binges and eaten fast food and today I ate candy and a cupcake and cookie and fudge. A lot of candy. Maybe ten or twelve pieces. I'm very disappointed in myself. I did give the rest of my candy away. Not much else to say really. I haven't been doing the work so I'm not seeing the results.

Christmas dress challenge

I don't have a weigh in this week because I'm in Maine at my parents house and they don't have a scale that will weigh me.  I'll be able to weigh in next Monday.  I'm feeling thinner.  I haven't been overeating like I could, though my portions st dinner have been bigger than necessary.  My dad is a really good cook.  When I'm on my own I do ok portions wise though. 
The other night my dad upset me when I said I was going to have a 100 calorie vitatop for dessert.  He said "You'll feel better if you don't"  I HATE FOOD POLICE.  And I told him that I don't need food police.  He is also morbidly obese, though not as much as me and he eats stuff all the time.  He bought fig bars from the bakery and ate them.  He says it's his business because he's not as bad off as me and I'm at a critical stage.  I tried to explain that being able to eat what I want in moderation is what keeps me from bingeing, but he didn't really get it.  I get that my parents are worried about me, I'm worried about me too.  But when I stick to what I'm doing, then it works.  Maybe not as fast as if I was on an all protien and vegetables diet, but it works. 
Had a fight with my stepmother yesterday because I wasn't doing things as fast as she was.  She does the dishes every morning and the laundry as soon as there is enough, she refills the dogs water bowls before they empty and I just wasn't doing things the way she does them.  It got very emotional and I didn't eat over it.   Though I really wanted to.

I just had my first egg nog of the season and IT WAS AWESOME.  I absolutely love egg nog and they had it in this individual sized bottle so I bought it.  Not something I should do often because very bad for you, but an occasional treat. 

So....I downloaded a christian dating app for my phone.  and I joined christianmingle.com  It's a dating site, obviously for Christians.  I'm kind of nervous.  I sent out some smiles today.  I have a few pictures on there.  One from christmas a few years ago and then two from today that I took with the webcam.  The one from a few years ago I'm much thinner than I am now and I look really good.  It makes me wish I could have hung onto it.  Anyway, I'm lonely and I can't wait until I lose all of my weight to try and meet someone.  But I'm still very nervous about it, will have to take things VERY slowly.  Anyway, I hope you all did well.  I'm sorry I don't comment much, I'm more of a lurker. 

What do I say?

Have you ever heard the Reba McIntyre song "what do you say". There is a good line in it that goes "what do you say in a moment like this, when you can't find the words to tell it like it is" thats how I feel right now. What do you say when someone you love tells you that they got drunk and hit themselves in the head with glass bottles until there was glass and blood all over the room. He has a mental illness that just makes him do crazy things like hit things and hurt himself. He also has a drinking problem. He needs help and I'm just too far away. Nevermind that I don't have that kind of training to really help him. It makes me incredibly sad and upset.

Oh and checking in for the Christmas dress challenge. I exercised 2 x last week which is more than I've done in months so Yay me! My eating was ok until Thursday when they had chips and dip at work and I went off the rails until yesterday. this les to a gain of 2.4 lbs. Weight 423.6. Disappointing but not unexpected. This is a new week. I won't be able to weigh in next week because I'm going away. But I will still check in with how I'm doing.